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What kind of hardware do you have in your dedicated server? You must understand that the hardware on our reseller servers are very powerful because they need to be able to handle multiple reseller accounts.
Maybe the hardware on your dedicated server isn't enough to handle the traffic coming to your joomla sites.
If they are recommending you shut down some php modules, maybe you can ask them to configure your server exactly the way pass62 is if they were doing fine on there.
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