When to give up...

**bcinelli** · February 11th, 2008, 11:24 AM

I know this is kinda personal to bring to Surmunity .. but i just need opinions because i really don't want to go anywhere else. so why not just go to you guys.

I been dating this girl for a month .. prior to her i had a little history of being with random girls at one time .. but was looking for something real with this girl. She is older .. wouldn't go as far as to say more mature then me but still. We started our relationship a month ago ..

She seems to want attention so i always gave it to her. I have been a great boyfriend in the past and only wanted to do even better. Mid-way thru she says we hang out to much .. and barely made time only when we went to the bars and got drunk or like one day on the weekend. She didnt' live far (10 min away)..

Ok fast foward to super bowl .. super bowl giants win .. we all celebrate .. everyones hugging and kissing and high fiveing .. so i give one of my friends i know but my gf doesn't know much a kiss on the cheek and then after that make like a bite face towards her .. like fooling around .. girlfriend flips out .. storms outta the bar .. goes to another.. i meet up later .. she doesn't say a word to me and we are on opposite sides of the bar... so then she does the whole getting me jealous thing with other guys .. immature i know. So then there are these group of guys who i know because they are dirt bags and drug dealers (whom she don't know) regardless .. a kid is getting really really friendly and i don't see her pushing him away .. my friend sees this and before he sees me blow up he goes over when she leaves to go to the bathroom to th ekid "that girls boyfriend is my best friend .. please chill out" .. kid says "i don't give an eff"... I walk over and tell him to chill and he then scoffs and laughs .. so i toss him down on the ground and jump on him .. 3 of his friends jump on my back .. now my two other friends pick them off of me still have one more on my back then me .. so i some how shake em off .. then i get up .. another kid tackles me thru double wood doors .. i fight him off allt he while i never realize i get punched or no one sees it .. so it disperses after a few .. and i wound up waking up with a black eye the next day cause of my gf .. whatever i shouldnt be fighting over girls anyways.

so we get past it .. and just move on .. both parties were wrong .. and such ..

this past saturday i have a big event at my basketball programs thing .. i bring her and such .. over 300+ people there drinking and betting .. kinda likea chinese auction .. so i told her to hold my phone .. so she holds it .. at the end of ht enight i have to clean up so she and a friend go to the bar without me to chill until im done .. an dhour into cleaing up she comes back .. and hands me my phone and goes check your text messages .. she left me a text saying "nice picture of your friend in her underwear" .. apparently i had a picture of on of my girl'friends' in her underwear .. from over a year before i was even with the girl im with .. i just had it in a folder and forgot about it being on my phone ..

so now she is saying we need to see other people .. and im like heartbroken ..

there is more but that is the jist .. like what do i do.. im just ahh..

**Roxy** · February 11th, 2008, 11:44 AM

Aw, that sucks really bad. From the sounds of it, she has a little trust problem. You guys are getting jealous a little to easily and that isn't the greatest thing in a relationship, but since she has an "attention" issue it makes sense, but it doesn't seem to match with you.

Now, I'm not trying to sound all knowledgeable and I obviously don't know the whole 9 yards to give great advice, but from what you have said here, maybe you guys should take a little break. Sounds odd, since it's only been a month, but it looks like if you guys keep on, the drama will just get bigger and bigger until you guys dislike each other and I'm sure that is not what you would like.

So take a break, but tell her that maybe seeing other people is just too soon. Make sure that she sees that you only have eyes for her, girls love that. Also it will please her "attention" side, but don't smother her.

Alright, so those are my two cents.

**Alex** · February 11th, 2008, 11:54 AM

im no Dr. Phil but how long did you guys "talk" before dating. should probably try and set the rules and expectations prior. I know on both ends, male and female, jealousy can be a problem but you can avoid your past. Its not like you were with the girl at the time you were dating your new lady friend. you cant help that.

I guess you should just try and go for mutual understanding that you guys are together now and should only look at the present/future as you cant change the past. The past made you what you are today and you can make your self better for youre new lady.

**bcinelli** · February 11th, 2008, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roxy

Aw, that sucks really bad. From the sounds of it, she has a little trust problem. You guys are getting jealous a little to easily and that isn't the greatest thing in a relationship, but since she has an "attention" issue it makes sense, but it doesn't seem to match with you.

Now, I'm not trying to sound all knowledgeable and I obviously don't know the whole 9 yards to give great advice, but from what you have said here, maybe you guys should take a little break. Sounds odd, since it's only been a month, but it looks like if you guys keep on, the drama will just get bigger and bigger until you guys dislike each other and I'm sure that is not what you would like.

So take a break, but tell her that maybe seeing other people is just too soon. Make sure that she sees that you only have eyes for her, girls love that. Also it will please her "attention" side, but don't smother her.

Alright, so those are my two cents.

See thing is i never get jealous .. but she was obviously pushing me to the point where its either i got jealous or i would be looked at like i don't care about her. It was a tough situation.. fighting shouldn't be happening anyways im not a 'tough guy' .. and my fists are the last thing i use. I'm great at diffusing even the biggest hot heads.

Well we are talking tonight ..

Believe me i have thrown every piece of charm at her .. and still nothing sticks .. i just want something serious with someone who wants it too but can give me what i want back emotionally.

im 23 she is 28 .. i thought she would be more mature about things though.

**bcinelli** · February 11th, 2008, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

im no Dr. Phil but how long did you guys "talk" before dating. should probably try and set the rules and expectations prior. I know on both ends, male and female, jealousy can be a problem but you can avoid your past. Its not like you were with the girl at the time you were dating your new lady friend. you cant help that.

I guess you should just try and go for mutual understanding that you guys are together now and should only look at the present/future as you cant change the past. The past made you what you are today and you can make your self better for youre new lady.

We courted eachother .. yes. We also hooked up prior to being together. I jumped out of 'seeing' somenoe quickly and then started this .. but i was ready for it .. but i think there was some jealousy from her about what i had with my ex and she wanted everything i gave her .. i gave it to her and it was like now she had it and prooved to herself she can get it so now what?

i'm the last person to ask about a persons past. its exactly what it is .. THE PAST .. never asked her once about dudes she has dated and such .. but seems like she harps on girls that i dated.

btw .. myspace is horrible for relationships.

**Alex** · February 11th, 2008, 12:18 PM

lol myspace = worst, agreed.

**bcinelli** · February 11th, 2008, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

lol myspace = worst, agreed.

like she still belongs to the whole club scene .. which brings tons of guys who are juice heads and guidos leaving remarks that are just stupid but not crossing the line but dangerously close.

like that guy at work who has "life is a beach" coffee mug. lol.

ArgH.. lil old me who loves hole in the wall bars .. beer pong .. playing video games .. writing blogs and poetry.

dunno how i get these women.

**Roxy** · February 11th, 2008, 12:32 PM

It happens to everyone. Its called trial and error! but being 28, she seems like another Paris Hilton to me and from the sounds thats not what you're looking for. I say, try and work it out (talk) if things still don't go to the smooth path, sorry but it would be time to let go and search around for the someone who can be with you in a way that is mutual to the both of you. =D

Actually, my cousin met his Wife on Myspace, they went out for like a year before getting married and just had a baby a couple months ago. They are still very much in love and going strong...lol

**bcinelli** · February 11th, 2008, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roxy

It happens to everyone. Its called trial and error! but being 28, she seems like another Paris Hilton to me and from the sounds thats not what you're looking for. I say, try and work it out (talk) if things still don't go to the smooth path, sorry but it would be time to let go and search around for the someone who can be with you in a way that is mutual to the both of you. =D

Actually, my cousin met his Wife on Myspace, they went out for like a year before getting married and just had a baby a couple months ago. They are still very much in love and going strong...lol

you sound like one of my girl'friends' that i was talking to who said the same thing about being that old and just looking for more attention. She does have a insecurity issue but i thought the attention from me would be enough.

Yeah i have heard of great stories from people meeting off myspace. Still a lot of things go wrong with myspace and couples.

February 11th, 2008, 11:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
bcinelli B - UNIT!! Super #1 Joined in Aug 2004 Lives in Long Island, NY Hosted on Pass23 1,408 posts Gave thanks: 0 Thanked 0 times	When to give up... I know this is kinda personal to bring to Surmunity .. but i just need opinions because i really don't want to go anywhere else. so why not just go to you guys. I been dating this girl for a month .. prior to her i had a little history of being with random girls at one time .. but was looking for something real with this girl. She is older .. wouldn't go as far as to say more mature then me but still. We started our relationship a month ago .. She seems to want attention so i always gave it to her. I have been a great boyfriend in the past and only wanted to do even better. Mid-way thru she says we hang out to much .. and barely made time only when we went to the bars and got drunk or like one day on the weekend. She didnt' live far (10 min away).. Ok fast foward to super bowl .. super bowl giants win .. we all celebrate .. everyones hugging and kissing and high fiveing .. so i give one of my friends i know but my gf doesn't know much a kiss on the cheek and then after that make like a bite face towards her .. like fooling around .. girlfriend flips out .. storms outta the bar .. goes to another.. i meet up later .. she doesn't say a word to me and we are on opposite sides of the bar... so then she does the whole getting me jealous thing with other guys .. immature i know. So then there are these group of guys who i know because they are dirt bags and drug dealers (whom she don't know) regardless .. a kid is getting really really friendly and i don't see her pushing him away .. my friend sees this and before he sees me blow up he goes over when she leaves to go to the bathroom to th ekid "that girls boyfriend is my best friend .. please chill out" .. kid says "i don't give an eff"... I walk over and tell him to chill and he then scoffs and laughs .. so i toss him down on the ground and jump on him .. 3 of his friends jump on my back .. now my two other friends pick them off of me still have one more on my back then me .. so i some how shake em off .. then i get up .. another kid tackles me thru double wood doors .. i fight him off allt he while i never realize i get punched or no one sees it .. so it disperses after a few .. and i wound up waking up with a black eye the next day cause of my gf .. whatever i shouldnt be fighting over girls anyways. so we get past it .. and just move on .. both parties were wrong .. and such .. this past saturday i have a big event at my basketball programs thing .. i bring her and such .. over 300+ people there drinking and betting .. kinda likea chinese auction .. so i told her to hold my phone .. so she holds it .. at the end of ht enight i have to clean up so she and a friend go to the bar without me to chill until im done .. an dhour into cleaing up she comes back .. and hands me my phone and goes check your text messages .. she left me a text saying "nice picture of your friend in her underwear" .. apparently i had a picture of on of my girl'friends' in her underwear .. from over a year before i was even with the girl im with .. i just had it in a folder and forgot about it being on my phone .. so now she is saying we need to see other people .. and im like heartbroken .. there is more but that is the jist .. like what do i do.. im just ahh.. __________________ All sites hosted on Pass23 -- Dirty Dalerz Inc. --Dirty Dalerz (dot) com--ZooYorkFreak (dot) com--NyLiBeerpong(dot) com--Ugh.. Myspace

February 11th, 2008, 11:44 AM	#2 (permalink)
Roxy URB4N 5K1LLZ Super #1 Joined in Sep 2005 Lives in Orlando, FL Hosted on SH63 2,660 posts Gave thanks: 81 Thanked 128 times	Aw, that sucks really bad. From the sounds of it, she has a little trust problem. You guys are getting jealous a little to easily and that isn't the greatest thing in a relationship, but since she has an "attention" issue it makes sense, but it doesn't seem to match with you. Now, I'm not trying to sound all knowledgeable and I obviously don't know the whole 9 yards to give great advice, but from what you have said here, maybe you guys should take a little break. Sounds odd, since it's only been a month, but it looks like if you guys keep on, the drama will just get bigger and bigger until you guys dislike each other and I'm sure that is not what you would like. So take a break, but tell her that maybe seeing other people is just too soon. Make sure that she sees that you only have eyes for her, girls love that. Also it will please her "attention" side, but don't smother her. Alright, so those are my two cents. __________________ Roxanne Urban Roxy -Personal Blog SH63 - the best darn shared server!

February 11th, 2008, 11:54 AM	#3 (permalink)
Alex I love Spicy! Excelling Contributor Joined in Jun 2007 Lives in O-t0wn, Flowda 703 posts Gave thanks: 27 Thanked 44 times	im no Dr. Phil but how long did you guys "talk" before dating. should probably try and set the rules and expectations prior. I know on both ends, male and female, jealousy can be a problem but you can avoid your past. Its not like you were with the girl at the time you were dating your new lady friend. you cant help that. I guess you should just try and go for mutual understanding that you guys are together now and should only look at the present/future as you cant change the past. The past made you what you are today and you can make your self better for youre new lady. __________________ Sauce 'em up Surpass Style! <=== Meet Bonzai, my fish.

February 11th, 2008, 12:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
Alex I love Spicy! Excelling Contributor Joined in Jun 2007 Lives in O-t0wn, Flowda 703 posts Gave thanks: 27 Thanked 44 times	lol myspace = worst, agreed. __________________ Sauce 'em up Surpass Style! <=== Meet Bonzai, my fish.

February 11th, 2008, 12:32 PM	#8 (permalink)
Roxy URB4N 5K1LLZ Super #1 Joined in Sep 2005 Lives in Orlando, FL Hosted on SH63 2,660 posts Gave thanks: 81 Thanked 128 times	It happens to everyone. Its called trial and error! but being 28, she seems like another Paris Hilton to me and from the sounds thats not what you're looking for. I say, try and work it out (talk) if things still don't go to the smooth path, sorry but it would be time to let go and search around for the someone who can be with you in a way that is mutual to the both of you. =D Actually, my cousin met his Wife on Myspace, they went out for like a year before getting married and just had a baby a couple months ago. They are still very much in love and going strong...lol __________________ Roxanne Urban Roxy -Personal Blog SH63 - the best darn shared server!

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